Saundra

02:55 am - San Diego is in the future

So I am trying to tie up lose ends. Then I am making a trip west for a while. Maybe for good. I am not sure yet. If you have a beef with me, you will not be the first, but please email me crimsonstar7878@aol.com so that I can make things right with you.

Then, Roman's birthday is December 4th. Kate is going to have a birthday party for him over at her house December 6th. That is all that is planned as of yet...I will be getting the invitations out.

Life has never ever been so trying. If you are my friend, please know that I am giving it everything I got, and your patience and love will help me more than ever.

Current Mood: uncomfortable

10:15 am - What??? (bat of the lash)

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Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley
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Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley
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Take the What Sex Position Are You? test by Ley Ley

Current Mood: flirty

03:39 am

I was trying to write my information for the first page, and it turned into an entry. I was born in San Diego, born to be a CEO and super model/ actress, at least that is what I had in sight. My mom was a hard working lady that took care of us so well!! I would also go over to my Cousin Ruthies house a ton. Ruth is the one in the family that did marry her high school sweetheart. So I had my Mom and sister in the house at El Cajon, then Ruthie, Don, Don, Wally, Lisa, and I. So just like the astrology book says about me, I am the week of oscillation. So one minute, and this true. I can be thinking about land architechtal design for my architectual company then the next I can be thinking about a runway in NY for formals. I oscillate!!! That is a sure sign of maniacs...For a while I think I was maniac, I will always have to keep that think We went to San Felipe, Mexico every other weekend, June Lake time share, Park City (which has the most awesome slides ... type things...Cool Runnings...but not so fast)for a week, and my favorite (because of a candle shop that the candle were being hand dipped and craved)(by the way my parents could not drag me away from that store) LAKE HAVISU!!! My point is traveling all the time!!! It ruled!!

My Mom took a job up in LA, lived there about a year. I was forced to leave my stomping grounds for the first time. I had lived in the El Cajon house and loved it. Just because I had lived in the same house the whole time does not mean that I hadn't had to adjust, because I counted it out one time to just shy of thirty schools that I went to, through out my schooling. Yes I was a big girl, and that one teacher. Yes oh yes I was aated about being the new person...I was always that girl...and then I just stopped wanting to meet people. Of course not all the way...but a change. I did not want to leave CA, but I lost of course. My cousin got married April 22, 1987 and I was on the next "Cousins will you help me caravan to Emmett ID. Let me tell you that the land is pretty so green, so moist. I am sick of Clay for soil. What would everyone think of moving to Washington for a year???? Enjoy the rain and green and then move to LA. Everyone knows that they would need to be there there for some sort of Entertainment stepping stool.

So yeah, Emmett was supposed to be a great time. I move and stay with my bestfriend at the times house, Sarah Crozier. She came from a family of eight and let me say I would never ever do that!!! Sarah's two oldest sisters had baby's at 16 and her oldest brother got into some sort of trouble right before they had to move back. So I lived with them for three months ( I will get into the belt lashs and the 15 pounds that I lost, and I was a limb) Emmett was good for one thing learning more about horses and horse training then I would have ever imagined. I became engulfed in training and selling horses in Emmett. It is actually from the proceeds of horse training that I bought my first two cars.

Then it was off to Boise where I had to go thru another new girl in school in the middle of Seventh grade. Boise was actually a really easy transition. My next door neighboor and I met the first day that we where moving into the house on the Netherlands I met my best friend that I was attached at the hip to until the night that we snuck out of the house to go say good bye. I loved Boise, I did not want to leave. But was forced, once again to leave my social circle and comfort. I had not wanted to stay in Boise forever, but I wanted to first Hight School. Because I got to AZ my Junior year and I basically did a fuck you to everyone. Pouted, and stayed around the house, I practiced my flute for 10hours stretched. I got really good. But I have to start my day.

Very long rant. Probably boring...actually no my life has been nothing but the best soap opera show since the day I was born. oh yes, and I am a nymph, it has been determined not by me! Have a wonderful day everyone!



Side note***I loved my horse back riding lessons so much, that on a special trail riding lesson, right before we are to be heading out, my horse, Cookie steps square on my pinky toes and the meat right there. It hurt so fuckin bad, but I did not want to miss the ride, so I go on the trail for four hours, did not tell a soul. There is no way they would have let me go on the ride. Not one tear was shed, that is, until we got back and my foot was bigger than my entire 10 year old body. Everyone was so mad, I still think it was worth it!!Yes I was in pain, but a pain that was not going to disappear in a day. I am talking weeks for your boby to heal. Growing up I pretty much had on person that knew me at that time inside and out...

We moved back down to San Diego!! at the time I was excited, now I wonder what the future would have held...Yes, I have had it pointed out that I think in the "would haves' to much! I am just curious? Well, most of the time. But I do like to make gigantic mistakes, more so than the every bear.

Current Mood: jaded

09:18 am - Thank you! Thank you! I am connected!!!

I feel so liberated. Right now I am set up with AOL, not for long, Cox will be back. I am moving and shaking, literally....and I will be back to being pre-Ken--ed or at least pre-life melt down.

10:34 pm - I should have taken the hundreds and ran!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I did ask the man if it would have bothered him. I did make the right decision!

03:27 am - I am losing my Live Journal virginity..right now...oh yes!

So I am a little conflicted...what do I write? That is one question, then what do I write that anyone will be able to understand. When my own boyfriend, Anthony, can't understand me 3/4 of the time. However, I am having my own font decoder made, that should be coming to the virtual world soon, then and only then will this scratch make since...So with that as a preface...Please step right in to the tangled web I weave.

I am in a perpetual slump. Starting with the fact that I can not keep a normal job to save my life... I know that I was spoiled...well in ways, as a dancer...Dude that is the understatement of the year!!! Why can't I get over it? Yes, I did not like it, no I hated it most of the time...But I made good money, I got a few compliments, and I felt successful...and in turn people saw me as successful. I was motivated. I started a company at 21 years old. The fact that it is insolvent is just superfluous detail.

I try to look at myself in the third perspective...Tell myself that I can feel sorry for myself as long as I choose, but things will only get better when I turn proactive.

I don't know if anyone has really fit their head around everything that has happened to me in the last year. Or if you would even want to. I will just leave it at a lot of shit has happened and I cannot get my footing back...I know that I am probably just having a bad case of the blues... Please don't think that ever post is going to be so gloomy. I am just really stressed!

Current Mood: stressed